I'm sure most of you have been approached by someone asking "if you died tonight, would you go to Heaven?"
Even though I accepted Jesus in a Baptist church when I was 10, have gone to two Bible schools, and hold a ministerial license, I don't think I could answer "yes" to that question.
Sure, I've done what the Bible says -- I do believe Jesus has been raised from the dead, for my sake, and He is my Lord.
But what the Bible says isn't good enough. According to most preachers, that won't guarantee eternity with God. We have to follow all the rules and regulations and bylaws and doctrines written by whatever preacher happens to be in front of us at that time. Heaven help us if we encounter different preachers on different street corners on the same night. Each will have a different "Earn Your Way Into Heaven" package to sell us! Each package will have different rules.
So, based on those preachers and their rules, I'm going to Hell.
I can't keep up with them any more. Who has the politically correct view of Heaven and Hell (and Christians are just as politically correct as atheistic liberals -- i.e., Christian views on abortion, considering that the word abortion does NOT appear in the Bible anywhere, so it's all politically motivated) ... where was I ... Who has the doctrinally correct view of who gets into Heaven? Dominionists, who insist that we must obey the Levitical Law right down to killing our children if they disobey? Word of Faith, who insist that if we don't live in mansions then we are displeasing God? Holiness, who insist that we must live pure lives and not even enjoy sex with our wives? Judgmentalists, who say that when bad things happen, they're signs of God's displeasure with us? Calvinists, who say that God chooses who He will save and we never know? Ariminians, who believe we can lose our salvation just for spitting on the sidewalk? Antimonians who say that there is no sin any more? Universalists, who say that we are all saved, even if we don't know it? Evangelicals, who believe once saved always saved, but insist that witnessing is the sign of true Christianity, and if we don't witness, we were never saved to begin with?
All that sounds like a bunch of legalistic and perfectionistic PAGANISM to me.
But what do I know? I'm one of the few who genuinely believes that Jesus loves me. I'm one of the few who takes sin so seriously that I won't even try to stop committing it in my own power. I'm one of the few who believes what Paul said that grace and mercy overpower judgment.
Meaning, I'm going to Hell. I am going to Hell because I believe that God's great love and Jesus' sacrifice was enough to overpower my flaws, my imperfections, my poverty, my sickness, my lust (and I do love making love with Trish twice a day for PLEASURE ...), my wrath (because all you holiness preachers make me sick and if it were up to me, I'd borrow Benny Hinn's Holy Ghost machine gun ... heaping laws on people who can't even lift their own heads ... shame on YOU!) ... see, I lost control. Losing control is a sign of going to Hell, thus sayeth they who know better. My parents died this year, so I guess God was displeased with me, and judged me, and took away something I loved dearly. I guess my sin was too great for Him to deal with through the Cross. I'm going to Hell ... no, I'm already there.
Yes, I'm ranting! It's time ... time to decide if we believe in the New Testament and grace, or do we believe in the Old Testament and salvation by the Law. We cannot do both! Man who rides fence has no balls!
But I don't mind going to Hell. I'm okay with that. I do not think I would want to go to the Heaven of legalists, perfectionists, predestinationalists, Levitical Lawyers, judgmentalists, and materialists, either. If Heaven is ruled by a mercurial judge who loves punishment, and the God of most Christians certainly does, then I will take my chances with the other guy. At least, Satan is honest -- he hates me and says so. The God of legalists says he loves me, but the actions of the legalists says otherwise.
The main thing is this ... God is God ... not Kenneth Copeland, not Ray Comfort, not Jerry Falwell, not Gary North, not Billye Brim, not Charles Stanley, not Kim Clement, not Pat Robertson ... God alone determines who gets in and who doesn't. It's His decision. Even Jesus Himself didn't address that.
And I pray that He has mercy upon me, a wretched sinner.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Remebering 2006
In so many ways, 2006 has been the hardest year of my life. The two people who gave me that life left me. But in many other ways, 2006 will go down as the most cherished year of my life, perhaps second only to the year I got married.
In the midst of sadness, there was profound happiness.
In the midst of tears, there was the realization of remarkable love.
In the midst of loss, there came great discovery.
In the midst of pain, there was enormous healing.
In the midst of sorrow, there was unbelievable comfort.
In the midst of confusion, there was indescribable clarity.
In the midst of chaos, there was amazing peace.
In the midst of anguish, there was perfect solace.
2006 will always be remembered as the year that I realized how much Jesus did for me, how much God loves me and how much my friends love me. It was the year that I finally knew what it meant to be happy.
In the midst of sadness, there was profound happiness.
In the midst of tears, there was the realization of remarkable love.
In the midst of loss, there came great discovery.
In the midst of pain, there was enormous healing.
In the midst of sorrow, there was unbelievable comfort.
In the midst of confusion, there was indescribable clarity.
In the midst of chaos, there was amazing peace.
In the midst of anguish, there was perfect solace.
2006 will always be remembered as the year that I realized how much Jesus did for me, how much God loves me and how much my friends love me. It was the year that I finally knew what it meant to be happy.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
My Job As A Pastor
==============
My Job as a Pastor ...
Jeremiah 23:2-4 says -- "This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says to these shepherds: "Instead of leading my flock to safety, you have deserted them and driven them to destruction. Now I will pour out judgment on you for the evil you have done to them. But I will gather together the remnant of my flock from wherever I have driven them. I will bring them back into their own fold, and they will be fruitful and increase in number. Then I will appoint responsible shepherds to care for them, and they will never be afraid again. Not a single one of them will be lost or missing," says the LORD." My job is to be a responsible shepherd, because God is using me to help bring His flock back. I must lead them to safety, to Jesus.
Ezekiel 34:2-6 says "Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds, the leaders of Israel. Give them this message from the Sovereign LORD: Destruction is certain for you shepherds who feed yourselves instead of your flocks. Shouldn't shepherds feed their sheep? You drink the milk, wear the wool, and butcher the best animals, but you let your flocks starve. You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the broken bones. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost. Instead, you have ruled them with force and cruelty. So my sheep have been scattered without a shepherd. They are easy prey for any wild animal. They have wandered through the mountains and hills, across the face of the earth, yet no one has gone to search for them." I should feed the sheep, not myself (i.e., I should not live at a higher lifestyle than the sheep, indeed I really shouldn't draw a salary from the church), I should feed the people, protect them, guide them gently and without force, and go look for the ones who have lost their way because they have been ravaged by wolves in churchmember's clothing.
Matthew 23:4-12 says "They crush you with impossible religious demands and never lift a finger to help ease the burden. "Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear extra long tassels on their robes. And how they love to sit at the head table at banquets and in the most prominent seats in the synagogue! They enjoy the attention they get on the streets, and they enjoy being called 'Rabbi.' Don't ever let anyone call you 'Rabbi,' for you have only one teacher, and all of you are on the same level as brothers and sisters. And don't address anyone here on earth as 'Father,' for only God in heaven is your spiritual Father. And don't let anyone call you 'Master,' for there is only one master, the Messiah. The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. " I must help lift the burden of thee Law from the shoulders of the people, by teaching them grace. I must do everything for others and not for acceptance of people. If someone wants to call me pastor or father (god forbid, I am NOT that old), then that's up to them, but I prefer either Nathan or Brother ... I, too, am a sinner in need of a savior and a sheep in need of a shepherd. I must serve, wash feet, wipe noses, clean butts.
I need to shut up and listen to the cries of the people.
My Job as a Pastor ...
Jeremiah 23:2-4 says -- "This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says to these shepherds: "Instead of leading my flock to safety, you have deserted them and driven them to destruction. Now I will pour out judgment on you for the evil you have done to them. But I will gather together the remnant of my flock from wherever I have driven them. I will bring them back into their own fold, and they will be fruitful and increase in number. Then I will appoint responsible shepherds to care for them, and they will never be afraid again. Not a single one of them will be lost or missing," says the LORD." My job is to be a responsible shepherd, because God is using me to help bring His flock back. I must lead them to safety, to Jesus.
Ezekiel 34:2-6 says "Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds, the leaders of Israel. Give them this message from the Sovereign LORD: Destruction is certain for you shepherds who feed yourselves instead of your flocks. Shouldn't shepherds feed their sheep? You drink the milk, wear the wool, and butcher the best animals, but you let your flocks starve. You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the broken bones. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost. Instead, you have ruled them with force and cruelty. So my sheep have been scattered without a shepherd. They are easy prey for any wild animal. They have wandered through the mountains and hills, across the face of the earth, yet no one has gone to search for them." I should feed the sheep, not myself (i.e., I should not live at a higher lifestyle than the sheep, indeed I really shouldn't draw a salary from the church), I should feed the people, protect them, guide them gently and without force, and go look for the ones who have lost their way because they have been ravaged by wolves in churchmember's clothing.
Matthew 23:4-12 says "They crush you with impossible religious demands and never lift a finger to help ease the burden. "Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear extra long tassels on their robes. And how they love to sit at the head table at banquets and in the most prominent seats in the synagogue! They enjoy the attention they get on the streets, and they enjoy being called 'Rabbi.' Don't ever let anyone call you 'Rabbi,' for you have only one teacher, and all of you are on the same level as brothers and sisters. And don't address anyone here on earth as 'Father,' for only God in heaven is your spiritual Father. And don't let anyone call you 'Master,' for there is only one master, the Messiah. The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. " I must help lift the burden of thee Law from the shoulders of the people, by teaching them grace. I must do everything for others and not for acceptance of people. If someone wants to call me pastor or father (god forbid, I am NOT that old), then that's up to them, but I prefer either Nathan or Brother ... I, too, am a sinner in need of a savior and a sheep in need of a shepherd. I must serve, wash feet, wipe noses, clean butts.
I need to shut up and listen to the cries of the people.
What We Talked About Christmas Eve
So, these are some of the things we discussed and a few of the truths we arrived at on Chrismas Eve.
CAVEAT: These are truths that WE arrived at. They are truths for us. Things that work for us. These are places where God has us. They may not be truths for YOU because of where God has you. If they work for you, cool. If not, stay true to where God has you and the truth that He has shown you.
- We have the right to read the Bible for ourselves and if what God shows us disagrees with what the pastor says, that does not make us wrong.
- We cannot preach our convictions. As in, God may tell me that it's a sin for ME to eat red meat, but I cannot preach that as a truth. It is my conviction.
- Tithing is not a New Testament command. It is not in the book of Acts, which lays down the pattern for the Church. It is an Old Testament command, and was confined to people who owned land and cattle, to support the Levites and help the Levites take care of the poor. It was meant to be distributed around, not hoarded by the priests. In the New Testament, God tells each and every one of us if we should give to our church or not, and if so, then how much. That is scriptural.
- Malachi 3 should never be used as a weapon against a congregation to extort money from them. Malachi 3 was written to the Levites, who were hoarding wealth and sacrificing blemished sacrifices so they could keep the best offerings for themselves. It is NOT designed for church pastors to milk more money out of their congregation members.
- There is nothing that we can do to mess up our salvation. Jesus did it all. We are not saved by works, by our efforts, by faith in the Law, or any other man-made tradition or legalism. God will not kill us if we cuss, drink, don't tithe, don't go to church, etc. We have to totally reject this and walk away from it.
- The anointed should be touched. As in, the pastor or minister should be approachable, touchable and questioned. He should welcome it. He is a peer of the people, not above them. If the pastor denies someone to touch him, then he denies that person the right to touch the Jesus in the pastor and complete both people.
- No pastor or minister has the right to dictate anything to the congregation. We are all priests and prophets and all have the ability to hear the Holy Spirit for themselves. Who is a pastor or minister to say that only he can interpret the Word of God?
- We all have the five fold ministry inside us -- apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor and teacher. So we can function as our own minister.
- Some of the greatest apostasies and false doctrines that have sprung up in recent years are Shepherding, Accountability, Covering, and Armor Bearer. Those are all tyrannies designed to turn people into slaves.
CAVEAT: These are truths that WE arrived at. They are truths for us. Things that work for us. These are places where God has us. They may not be truths for YOU because of where God has you. If they work for you, cool. If not, stay true to where God has you and the truth that He has shown you.
The Journey of One Thousand Miles Begins
On Christmas Eve, we began NAILS ... whatever you want to call it. We aren't sure we want to call it a "church." We sure don't want to use the word "fellowship!" But, whatever it is ...it has begun. What better time to start a church that heals the wounded, a MASH unit, a snake bite triage center ... than on Christmas Eve, the celebration of the Incarnation of the Christ. We felt that we gave Jesus a great birthday present in having a time to help heal his wounded brothers and sisters.
I grew up Baptist, then switched to the Assembly of God. Now, I'm non-denominational Charismatic. One thing that has always bugged me is that Charismatics don't seem to know what to do with Christmas. They may play "Joy to the World" on the Sunday before Christmas, but otherwise, they keep right on playing and singing "You Have Turned My Sorrow into Dancing." Let's paraphrase Solomon here ... there is a time for Ray-Gene Wilson and a time for Charles Wesley, and December is a time for Charles Wesley. That is one thing we wanted to do was give our friends who no longer go to church the opportunity to really celebrate the birth of Christ (whether it was December, October or April is irrelevant ... it's WHO is remembered, not WHEN -- we worship a man-god, not a calendar).
We had eleven people, plus ourselves. And we packed out this little apartment. We started at 7 PM and didn't finish until midnight. We read a few Catholic and Anglican prayers and confessions (one that began "We have been STUPID!") and ended with communion and a reading of my little essay "Christmas Every Day." In between ... everyone chimed in with a good dialogue about spiritual abuse, the truth about tithing, recovery from bad systems, the fact that God won't kill you if you cuss, and all kinds of good things. It seemed to be very freeing and healing for everyone. Highlight of the evening was when Trish brought the house down by saying "God has an answer for all this religious bullshit!" YEAH!
What really wowed us is that most everyone wanted more! So, there will be more. In January ... the cold heart of winter ... we take this to a new level. We aren't sure what we'll do, but we think we're going to start by studying the books on spiritual abuse. If that lasts only five minutes, cool. If it lasts five years, cool. This is God's show. We're just moderators.
I stated my major platform by walking around and having people touch me on my hand while I was wearing my clerical collar. I even had Leanna slap me. When I got to Jason, I asked him "what are you doing?" and Jason knew what he was doing and yelled "I'm touching the anointed!" YES! The anointed of God is TOUCHABLE! I am NOT a head over a bunch of people. I am a lateral leader, still a sinner in need of a savior, a sheep in need of a shepherd. If Jesus is in me, and Jesus is in Jason, if I don't allow him to touch me, then I deny him the opportunity to touch that piece of Jesus that he needs. And I, in turn, am not completed.
Of course, there was food and drink. Trish's chicken-cheese soup was a sellout! And my Cherokee blackberry-strawberry cobbler went fast! There wasn't much wassail left! How many churches do you go to where you can eat and drink in the middle of litanies?
I was amazed at the venom spewed at the concepts of "don't touch the anointed," "who is your covering," and "armor bearer." Somehow, I don't think Jesus was amazed, and actually appreciated seeing that a sizeable group of people don't like them any more than He does. I thought of this scripture last night -- Jeremiah 23:3-4 "But I will gather together the remnant of my flock from wherever I have driven them. I will bring them back into their own fold, and they will be fruitful and increase in number. Then I will appoint responsible shepherds to care for them, and they will never be afraid again. Not a single one of them will be lost or missing," says the LORD." All of us who were there were scattered, mostly by God telling us to get out of where we were. Now, He's bringing us all back together, where HE wants us. I am not proud enough to say that I'm a responsible shepherd, but I do know enough that all I need to do is feed the people. Hey, chicken-cheese soup and cobbler is a good place to start.
Two problems did arise that only God can take care of.
First, if anyone else shows up, we will have to throw the chairs out and all sit on the floor like hippies. And there were people who were invited who just couldn't make it. So, God needs to cough up a bigger place! I joked to Jason that we could run an ad in the paper inviting everyone who has been abused by a church in Ft. Worth, and Jason said if we did, we better have a huge place rented first! He's right. In the self-proclaimed Revival Capital of the World, there are bound to be a lot of injured Christians.
Second, I need a new form. We don't really need structure (everything in a rigid, unchangable agenda), but we do need form. Form allows us to know what we're doing, and it is flexible. Form gives shape without rigidity. BUT! The only forms for any kind of "church" service that I know are Baptist or Charismatic services, and Charismatic home groups. They are good on their own, but for what we're doing and for the people who will be coming, they don't work. Those forms were the sources of a lot of the abuse that we're all recovering from. So, what do we do besides three fast songs, two slow songs and an hour long sermon on tithing? I kept falling back on what I know of home groups for our meeting, and it didn't really work. There must be alternatives. I may check into Frank Viola's book on home churches and see what he says. I'm already stalking his book on the "covering" doctrine.
After New Year's, we'll have another meeting, an organizational meeting, to find out what all the people want, when they want to meet, and how often. We want this to be a joyful thing, not a duty. People should be excited to go, not feel it's something they have to do to earn God's approval. We already have God's approval. We can't screw that up. What we need is a way to invite Him to join us to heal us.
I grew up Baptist, then switched to the Assembly of God. Now, I'm non-denominational Charismatic. One thing that has always bugged me is that Charismatics don't seem to know what to do with Christmas. They may play "Joy to the World" on the Sunday before Christmas, but otherwise, they keep right on playing and singing "You Have Turned My Sorrow into Dancing." Let's paraphrase Solomon here ... there is a time for Ray-Gene Wilson and a time for Charles Wesley, and December is a time for Charles Wesley. That is one thing we wanted to do was give our friends who no longer go to church the opportunity to really celebrate the birth of Christ (whether it was December, October or April is irrelevant ... it's WHO is remembered, not WHEN -- we worship a man-god, not a calendar).
We had eleven people, plus ourselves. And we packed out this little apartment. We started at 7 PM and didn't finish until midnight. We read a few Catholic and Anglican prayers and confessions (one that began "We have been STUPID!") and ended with communion and a reading of my little essay "Christmas Every Day." In between ... everyone chimed in with a good dialogue about spiritual abuse, the truth about tithing, recovery from bad systems, the fact that God won't kill you if you cuss, and all kinds of good things. It seemed to be very freeing and healing for everyone. Highlight of the evening was when Trish brought the house down by saying "God has an answer for all this religious bullshit!" YEAH!
What really wowed us is that most everyone wanted more! So, there will be more. In January ... the cold heart of winter ... we take this to a new level. We aren't sure what we'll do, but we think we're going to start by studying the books on spiritual abuse. If that lasts only five minutes, cool. If it lasts five years, cool. This is God's show. We're just moderators.
I stated my major platform by walking around and having people touch me on my hand while I was wearing my clerical collar. I even had Leanna slap me. When I got to Jason, I asked him "what are you doing?" and Jason knew what he was doing and yelled "I'm touching the anointed!" YES! The anointed of God is TOUCHABLE! I am NOT a head over a bunch of people. I am a lateral leader, still a sinner in need of a savior, a sheep in need of a shepherd. If Jesus is in me, and Jesus is in Jason, if I don't allow him to touch me, then I deny him the opportunity to touch that piece of Jesus that he needs. And I, in turn, am not completed.
Of course, there was food and drink. Trish's chicken-cheese soup was a sellout! And my Cherokee blackberry-strawberry cobbler went fast! There wasn't much wassail left! How many churches do you go to where you can eat and drink in the middle of litanies?
I was amazed at the venom spewed at the concepts of "don't touch the anointed," "who is your covering," and "armor bearer." Somehow, I don't think Jesus was amazed, and actually appreciated seeing that a sizeable group of people don't like them any more than He does. I thought of this scripture last night -- Jeremiah 23:3-4 "But I will gather together the remnant of my flock from wherever I have driven them. I will bring them back into their own fold, and they will be fruitful and increase in number. Then I will appoint responsible shepherds to care for them, and they will never be afraid again. Not a single one of them will be lost or missing," says the LORD." All of us who were there were scattered, mostly by God telling us to get out of where we were. Now, He's bringing us all back together, where HE wants us. I am not proud enough to say that I'm a responsible shepherd, but I do know enough that all I need to do is feed the people. Hey, chicken-cheese soup and cobbler is a good place to start.
Two problems did arise that only God can take care of.
First, if anyone else shows up, we will have to throw the chairs out and all sit on the floor like hippies. And there were people who were invited who just couldn't make it. So, God needs to cough up a bigger place! I joked to Jason that we could run an ad in the paper inviting everyone who has been abused by a church in Ft. Worth, and Jason said if we did, we better have a huge place rented first! He's right. In the self-proclaimed Revival Capital of the World, there are bound to be a lot of injured Christians.
Second, I need a new form. We don't really need structure (everything in a rigid, unchangable agenda), but we do need form. Form allows us to know what we're doing, and it is flexible. Form gives shape without rigidity. BUT! The only forms for any kind of "church" service that I know are Baptist or Charismatic services, and Charismatic home groups. They are good on their own, but for what we're doing and for the people who will be coming, they don't work. Those forms were the sources of a lot of the abuse that we're all recovering from. So, what do we do besides three fast songs, two slow songs and an hour long sermon on tithing? I kept falling back on what I know of home groups for our meeting, and it didn't really work. There must be alternatives. I may check into Frank Viola's book on home churches and see what he says. I'm already stalking his book on the "covering" doctrine.
After New Year's, we'll have another meeting, an organizational meeting, to find out what all the people want, when they want to meet, and how often. We want this to be a joyful thing, not a duty. People should be excited to go, not feel it's something they have to do to earn God's approval. We already have God's approval. We can't screw that up. What we need is a way to invite Him to join us to heal us.
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