The Journey of One Thousand Miles Begins

On Christmas Eve, we began NAILS ... whatever you want to call it. We aren't sure we want to call it a "church." We sure don't want to use the word "fellowship!" But, whatever it is ...it has begun. What better time to start a church that heals the wounded, a MASH unit, a snake bite triage center ... than on Christmas Eve, the celebration of the Incarnation of the Christ. We felt that we gave Jesus a great birthday present in having a time to help heal his wounded brothers and sisters.

I grew up Baptist, then switched to the Assembly of God. Now, I'm non-denominational Charismatic. One thing that has always bugged me is that Charismatics don't seem to know what to do with Christmas. They may play "Joy to the World" on the Sunday before Christmas, but otherwise, they keep right on playing and singing "You Have Turned My Sorrow into Dancing." Let's paraphrase Solomon here ... there is a time for Ray-Gene Wilson and a time for Charles Wesley, and December is a time for Charles Wesley. That is one thing we wanted to do was give our friends who no longer go to church the opportunity to really celebrate the birth of Christ (whether it was December, October or April is irrelevant ... it's WHO is remembered, not WHEN -- we worship a man-god, not a calendar).

We had eleven people, plus ourselves. And we packed out this little apartment. We started at 7 PM and didn't finish until midnight. We read a few Catholic and Anglican prayers and confessions (one that began "We have been STUPID!") and ended with communion and a reading of my little essay "Christmas Every Day." In between ... everyone chimed in with a good dialogue about spiritual abuse, the truth about tithing, recovery from bad systems, the fact that God won't kill you if you cuss, and all kinds of good things. It seemed to be very freeing and healing for everyone. Highlight of the evening was when Trish brought the house down by saying "God has an answer for all this religious bullshit!" YEAH!

What really wowed us is that most everyone wanted more! So, there will be more. In January ... the cold heart of winter ... we take this to a new level. We aren't sure what we'll do, but we think we're going to start by studying the books on spiritual abuse. If that lasts only five minutes, cool. If it lasts five years, cool. This is God's show. We're just moderators.

I stated my major platform by walking around and having people touch me on my hand while I was wearing my clerical collar. I even had Leanna slap me. When I got to Jason, I asked him "what are you doing?" and Jason knew what he was doing and yelled "I'm touching the anointed!" YES! The anointed of God is TOUCHABLE! I am NOT a head over a bunch of people. I am a lateral leader, still a sinner in need of a savior, a sheep in need of a shepherd. If Jesus is in me, and Jesus is in Jason, if I don't allow him to touch me, then I deny him the opportunity to touch that piece of Jesus that he needs. And I, in turn, am not completed.

Of course, there was food and drink. Trish's chicken-cheese soup was a sellout! And my Cherokee blackberry-strawberry cobbler went fast! There wasn't much wassail left! How many churches do you go to where you can eat and drink in the middle of litanies?

I was amazed at the venom spewed at the concepts of "don't touch the anointed," "who is your covering," and "armor bearer." Somehow, I don't think Jesus was amazed, and actually appreciated seeing that a sizeable group of people don't like them any more than He does. I thought of this scripture last night -- Jeremiah 23:3-4 "But I will gather together the remnant of my flock from wherever I have driven them. I will bring them back into their own fold, and they will be fruitful and increase in number. Then I will appoint responsible shepherds to care for them, and they will never be afraid again. Not a single one of them will be lost or missing," says the LORD." All of us who were there were scattered, mostly by God telling us to get out of where we were. Now, He's bringing us all back together, where HE wants us. I am not proud enough to say that I'm a responsible shepherd, but I do know enough that all I need to do is feed the people. Hey, chicken-cheese soup and cobbler is a good place to start.

Two problems did arise that only God can take care of.

First, if anyone else shows up, we will have to throw the chairs out and all sit on the floor like hippies. And there were people who were invited who just couldn't make it. So, God needs to cough up a bigger place! I joked to Jason that we could run an ad in the paper inviting everyone who has been abused by a church in Ft. Worth, and Jason said if we did, we better have a huge place rented first! He's right. In the self-proclaimed Revival Capital of the World, there are bound to be a lot of injured Christians.

Second, I need a new form. We don't really need structure (everything in a rigid, unchangable agenda), but we do need form. Form allows us to know what we're doing, and it is flexible. Form gives shape without rigidity. BUT! The only forms for any kind of "church" service that I know are Baptist or Charismatic services, and Charismatic home groups. They are good on their own, but for what we're doing and for the people who will be coming, they don't work. Those forms were the sources of a lot of the abuse that we're all recovering from. So, what do we do besides three fast songs, two slow songs and an hour long sermon on tithing? I kept falling back on what I know of home groups for our meeting, and it didn't really work. There must be alternatives. I may check into Frank Viola's book on home churches and see what he says. I'm already stalking his book on the "covering" doctrine.

After New Year's, we'll have another meeting, an organizational meeting, to find out what all the people want, when they want to meet, and how often. We want this to be a joyful thing, not a duty. People should be excited to go, not feel it's something they have to do to earn God's approval. We already have God's approval. We can't screw that up. What we need is a way to invite Him to join us to heal us.